Avenue D

What happens when you're a pair of fabulously hot girls (barely old enough to drink) from the moist and pseudo-primordial land of Miami who enjoy the musical strains of rap, freestyle, 80's New Wave, and punk? Well, if you're Debbie D. or Daphne D., you have no choice but to morph like a magical, fantastic robot into a volatile, hilarious ghetto booty group called Avenue D. Then you must fuse these musical influences (from 2 Live Crew to Cyndi Lauper, from Jem and the Holograms to CRASS) together to produce an awesome array of songs with all the style and fun of 80's camp, mixed with hard-hitting beats, and a little "Girls Gone Wild" thrown in for good measure. Then you go forth and shock the legions of teeming masses in NYC and beyond! It's God's will!

Well, that's the story so far. From humble, almost Quaker-like beginnings, the group began as an original creation of the 2001 electroclash revolution in NYC, before busting out into new musical galaxies and social experimentations. They've collaborated with a plethora of musical wunderkinds, like Tigra (from L'Trimm), Phiiliip, Cazwell (formerly of Morplay), Mikey P., Larry T., and ye olde pop culture icon himself, Boy George. Avenue D has played to sweaty masses at old-school and spanking-new New York establishments like CBGB's, the Cock, Don Hill's, Piano's, Siberia, Deitch, the Warsaw and Stinger Bar. The girls have smacked the New York City scene up and then preached their sexual sermons across the country and beyond, playing to packed clubs in Chicago, Charlotte, Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Diego, Boston, Hawaii, Texas, Colorado, and the old hometown, Miami. With iron grips that could crush a man's soul, they have reached out to mesmerize audiences in Brazil, London, Amsterdam, Rome, Ibiza, and Germany. The D.'s have conquered the Warhol Museum in Pittsburgh (would Andy have approved? We think so!), and made major eyes at Henry Rollins before rocking his brains out at a gay marriage rights rally in Washington D.C. Much like an attack by manic locusts, nowhere is safe from the shaking hips and fast lips of the girls of Avenue D.

Even though their outrageous outfits and sexy dance moves provide plenty of eye candy for the hungering masses, Avenue D is much more than a vapid girl group getting by on looks and charm. Incredibly innovative ghetto tracks and wildly original, laugh-until-you-pee lyrics make every song stick in the brain long after the music has ended. Collaborating with new and established DJs from all over the scene, Avenue D's music comments on such hard-hitting issues as the War on Terror ("War Sucks" and "Bang!"), our increasing reliance on technology to find fulfillment ("Orgasmatron"), and the overall role of sexuality in modern society (how many have suffered from those "2d2f"? Hmm?). Of course, these topics are all illuminated with saucy lyrics, heavy beats, and enough ass-shaking to make a monkey go blind.

What does the future hold for Avenue D? Aside from plans of world domination, the classy lassies have appeared in an overwhelming amount of publications, from Vice to Paper, k48 to Time Out New York, Blender to The Face, The Los Angeles Times to The New York Times, and their eight song bootleg CD is available for sale on the website. Why hasn't it appeared in stores yet, you query? Because Debbie and Daphne are all about sticking it to the man and Big Corporate America! (Note to possible record execs: Just kidding!). With their headboards already notched to hell from the amount of touring they've done, Avenue D are planning to make like Godzilla in merry old Japan, and raise some eyebrows in Australia and New Zealand in the near future. A barrage of fresh new songs will soon flow from this awesome twosome, and plans are in the works for the release of several EP's over the next few months.

By c